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Sexual purity

Written by LWOM Amsterdam on . Posted in Dating/Courting, What’s new?.

Why is sexual purity so important?

God gave man and woman the joy and pleasure of sexual relations within the bounds of marriage, and the Bible is clear about the importance of maintaining sexual purity within the boundaries of that union between man and wife (Ephesians 5:31). Humans are well aware of the pleasing effect of this gift from God but have expanded it well beyond marriage and into virtually any circumstance. The secular world’s philosophy of “if it feels good, do it” pervades cultures, especially in the West, to the point where sexual purity is seen as archaic and unnecessary.

Yet look at what God says about sexual purity. “You should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God. . . . For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life” (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5, 7). This passage outlines God’s reasons for calling for sexual purity in the lives of His children.

First, we are “sanctified,” and for that reason we are to avoid sexual immorality. The Greek word translated “sanctified” means literally “purified, made holy, consecrated [unto God].” As Christians, we are to live a purified life because we have been made holy by the exchange of our sin for the righteousness of Christ on the cross and have been made completely new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17–21). Our old natures, with all their impurities, sexual and otherwise, have died, and now the life we live, we live by faith in the One who died for us (Galatians 2:20). To continue in sexual impurity (fornication) is to deny that, and doing so is, in fact, a legitimate reason to question whether we have ever truly been born again. Sanctification, the process by which we become more and more Christlike, is an essential evidence of the reality of our salvation.

We also see in 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 the necessity of controlling our bodies. When we give in to sexual immorality, we give evidence that the Holy Spirit is not filling us because we do not possess one of the fruits of the Spirit—self-control. All believers display the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23) to a greater or lesser degree depending on whether or not we are allowing the Spirit to have control. Uncontrolled “passionate lust” is a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:19), not of the Spirit. So controlling our lusts and living sexually pure lives is essential to anyone who professes to know Christ. In doing so, we honor God with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18–20).

We know God’s rules and discipline reflect His love for us. Following what He says can only help us during our time on earth. By maintaining sexual purity before marriage, we avoid emotional entanglements that may negatively affect future relationships and marriages. Further, by keeping the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4), we can experience unreserved love for our mates, which is surpassed only by God’s enormous love for us.

Sex before marriage

Written by LWOM Amsterdam on . Posted in Dating/Courting, What’s new?.

What does the Bible say about sex before marriage?

The Bible clearly condemns sexual sins: adultery (consensual sex between a married person and someone other than his or her spouse) (Proverbs 6:32; cf. 1 Corinthians 6:18 and Hebrews 13:4) and fornication (sexual immorality in general) are specified (Matthew 15:19; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1). Sex before marriage, or premarital sex, is not addressed in that exact term, but it does fall within the scope of sexual immorality.

The Bible teaches that sex before marriage is immoral in a couple of different passages. One is 1 Corinthians 7:2, which says, “But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” In this verse, marriage is presented as the “cure” for sexual immorality. Sexual union within marriage, which is commended, is set against immorality, which is to be avoided. Thus, any sex outside of marriage is considered immoral. This would have to include premarital sex.

Another verse that presents sex before marriage as immoral is Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Here, we have both adultery and fornication contrasted with what happens in the marriage bed. Marriage (and sexual intercourse within marriage) is honorable; all other types of sexual activity are condemned as immoral and bring God’s judgment.

Based on these passages, a biblical definition of sexual immorality would have to include sex before marriage. That means that all the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality in general also condemn sex before marriage. These include Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 1:7; and Revelation 21:8.

God designed sex, and the Bible honors marriage. Part of honoring marriage is the Bible’s promotion of complete abstinence before marriage. When two unmarried people engage in sexual intercourse, they are defiling God’s good gift of sex. Before marriage, a couple has no binding union, and they’ve entered no sacred covenant; without the marriage vows, they have no right to exploit the culmination of such vows.

Too often, we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon 4 and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) describe the pleasure of sex. However, God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.

While practicality does not determine right from wrong, following the Bible’s instructions concerning sex before marriage would greatly benefit society. If the Bible’s message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations their proper value, and, most importantly, honors God. Sex between a husband and wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves.