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Tag: Book of Proverbs

Length of days

What is the meaning of “length of days” in Proverbs 3:16?

Most people dream of living a long and meaningful life. According to the Bible, acquiring wisdom from God is the path to fulfilling that desire. The book of Proverbs personifies wisdom as a woman who offers longevity: “Length of days is in her right hand” (Proverbs 3:16, KJV). The phrase length of days refers to a person living for many years. Other Bible translations express the idea more directly, rendering the phrase “long life is in her right hand” (e.g., ESV, NASB, NIV).

Wisdom is a communicable attribute of God, which means He generously shares it with people (Romans 16:27; Psalm 51:6). God’s wisdom is a combination of His perfect knowledge and His holy actions. Specifically, He determines the best results and the right ways to achieve them, all in alignment to His righteous character (Psalm 89:14; 1 Peter 1:1).

Likewise, the wisdom God gives people combines understanding and application as it is rooted in the heart and mind but fully expressed in practice (e.g., Matthew 7:24–27). The wisdom God gives resides in a person’s heart (Psalm 90:12), signifying that it is central to the recipient’s inner life, influencing his or her emotions, intellect, and will. Yet wisdom is also practical. James emphasizes this when he writes, “Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom” (James 3:13, KJV). Therefore, wisdom is only fully realized in actions that wisdom itself engenders (Matthew 11:19).

Proverbs 3:16 figuratively depicts God’s generosity, saying that length of days “is in her right hand.” The reality that underlies the poetic imagery of a hand is God’s willingness to dispense wisdom to those who ask for it. Confirming this invitation, James 1:5 encourages people to pray for wisdom: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5, KJV). Together, these verses teach that God stands ready to generously dispense wisdom to His people.

In Proverbs 3, the phrase length of days first appears at the beginning of the chapter: “My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee” (Proverbs 3:1–2, KJV). The message of these verses complements what Proverbs 3:16 says about “length of days” because they describe what wisdom entails—obedience to God. Likewise, Psalm 111:10 links wisdom and obedience: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.”

The Holy Spirit dispenses wisdom (1 Corinthians 2:5–16), yet people can receive it in different ways. A primary way Christians acquire wisdom today is through reading and applying the Bible (2 Timothy 3:15–17; e.g., Psalm 119:99–100). Another way Christians can get wisdom is from the counsel of godly people (Proverbs 11:14; e.g., Exodus 18:17–18). Furthermore, God gives people wisdom in response to prayer (Colossians 1:9–11; e.g., 1 Kings 3:9–12).

The concept that wisdom from God leads to a long and meaningful life is a proverb, not a promise. This means the outcome is often true, but not guaranteed to be. In a fallen world, sometimes unrighteous, foolish people live to old age (e.g., Psalm 37:1–2, 7; 49:16–20) and the righteous die young. Yet what transcends the number of days and years a person lives is the life that Jesus Christ offers people. He said, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” (John 10:10, KJV). For those who have responded in faith to the gospel, Jesus’ words about having an abundant life in Him aren’t true sometimes—they aren’t a generalized statement like a proverb—they are an everlasting promise.

Fear Lord beginning wisdom

How is the fear of the Lord the beginning of wisdom?

Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Basically, this verse teaches that the fear of God is foundational to true wisdom; all other types of learning are worthless unless built upon a knowledge of the Lord Himself. Many other passages talk about the fear of the Lord (e.g., Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 1:7; 14:27; 15:33). Before we can understand how the fear of the Lord leads to wisdom, we need to define what the Bible means by “fear” in this context.

n the Bible, the word translated “fear” can mean several things. It can refer to the terror one feels in a frightening situation (Deuteronomy 2:25). It can mean “respect” in the way a servant fears his master and serves him faithfully (Joshua 24:14). Fear can also denote the reverence or awe a person feels in the presence of greatness (Isaiah 6:5). The fear of the Lord is a combination of all of these.

Fear of the Lord can be defined as “the continual awareness that our loving heavenly Father is watching and evaluating everything we think, say, and do” (Matthew 12:36; Psalm 139:2; Jeremiah 12:3). As Jesus told each of the seven churches in Revelation 2—3, “I know your works.” Nothing escapes His attention.

In order to develop the fear of the Lord, we must recognize God for who He is. We must glimpse with our spirits the power, might, beauty, and brilliance of the Lord God Almighty (Revelation 11:17; Hosea 12:5; Isaiah 6:1–5). Those who fear the Lord have a continual awareness of Him, a deep reverence for Him, and sincere commitment to obey Him.

Proverbs 1:7 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” This verse gives us some added insight with its antithetical parallelism—there is a sharp contrast between the wise life and the foolish life. A wise person fears/reverences/obeys the Lord; a fool despises God’s instruction and cannot be told what to do. The wise person is wise because he has started at the starting place; the fool has no foundation on which to build wisdom.

Romans 1:21–22 speaks of those who “neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools.” This is a description of people who try to obtain wisdom while ignoring God—it cannot be done for the simple reason that God is the source of wisdom.

The link between the fear of God and wisdom means we cannot possess wisdom if we recreate God in our own image. Too many people want to “tame” God into a non-threatening nobody. But, if we redefine the Lord as a god that makes us feel comfortable, a permissive “buddy” who exists simply to bless us and give us what we want, we will not fear Him in the way He deserves to be feared. The Lord God Almighty is far greater than that, and the fear of the Lord begins when we see Him in His majesty and power (Revelation 4:11; Job 42:1–2) The Lord shows Job (and us) a glimpse of His power in Job 38—41 when He describes His absolute sovereignty over everything.

When the reality of God’s true nature has caused us to fall down in worship, we are then in the right position to gain wisdom. Wisdom is merely seeing life from God’s perspective and responding accordingly. Wisdom is a priority, and we are told to seek it above all else (Proverbs 3:13; 16:16). Proverbs is known as the wisdom book, and the entire second chapter gives a detailed explanation of the value of gaining wisdom.

Until our hearts are in a right relationship with God, we are unable to have the “wisdom that comes from heaven” (James 3:17). Without the fear of the Lord, we may gain knowledge of earthly things and make some practical choices for this life, but we are missing the one ingredient that defines a wise person (Psalm 14:1; Exodus 20:3; 34:14; Jeremiah 25:6; Matthew 22:37). In the parable of the rich farmer, the rich man had a “wise” and practical plan for his profits, but God said to him, “You fool!” because the farmer’s plans were made with no thought of God and eternity (Luke 12:16–21).

Without the fear of the Lord, we make final decisions based on our faulty human understanding (Proverbs 3:5–6). When we incorporate the fear of the Lord into every moment of our lives, we make decisions based upon His approval. We live with the knowledge that the Creator of the universe is intimately involved in our every move. He sees, knows, and evaluates all our choices, and we will answer to Him (Psalm 139:1–4).

Our respect for God’s majesty causes us to honor Him (Psalm 29:2). Our gratitude for His mercy causes us to serve Him well (Psalm 2:11; 107:15). And the understanding that our God of love is also a God of wrath inspires enough fear to help us stay away from evil (Romans 1:18; Proverbs 8:13). Sin is foolish; righteousness is wise. When we live righteously, we are on the path to wisdom, and everyone in our lives benefits (Proverbs 13:20; 19:8).

Perverse mouth

What does it mean to have a perverse mouth (Proverbs 6:12)?

he Bible provides insight into judging someone’s character. Many of Solomon’s proverbs impart cautionary wisdom to help us recognize people who might wish to do us harm. If we want to understand and identify a scoundrel—a wicked person who goes around doing evil—then we need to heed Proverbs 6:12–15, which gives an excellent description. The passage begins with this interesting observation:
“A worthless person, a wicked man,
Walks with a perverse mouth” (Proverbs 6:12, NKJV).

The first mark of an ungodly person is a perverse mouth. The word translated as “perverse” in the original Hebrew means “distorted.” Perversion involves twisting or turning something toward a wrong or deceptive use. “A perverse mouth” is alternatively rendered as “crooked speech” (ESV), “a corrupt mouth” (NIV), and “speaking dishonestly” (CSB). “What are worthless and wicked people like? They are constant liars,” reads Proverbs 6:12 in the New Living Translation. A parallel verse warns, “Scoundrels create trouble; their words are a destructive blaze” (Proverbs 16:27, NLT). The wise person will be on guard for people whose mouths are full of deceptive words.

“Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips,” counsels Solomon (Proverbs 4:24). In Proverbs, “the mouth” reflects more than one’s speech; it reveals a person’s character as well: “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly” (Proverbs 15:2, ESV; see also Proverbs 15:28). A perverse mouth that twists the truth reflects falsehood and corruptness in one’s heart.

By his mouth, the wicked person reveals himself (Psalm 5:9; 36:1–3; 50:19; 59:12; Proverbs 18:6–7). Jesus said, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matthew 12:34; see also Matthew 15:18–20). If we listen carefully, the words we hear will paint an accurate picture of a person’s heart: “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart” (Luke 6:45, NLT).

We can also judge our own hearts by paying close attention to what we say. Are our words pleasing to God, or do we speak with a perverse mouth? The psalmist describes a blameless and righteous person as one “who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander . . . and casts no slur on others, . . . who keeps an oath even when it hurts” (Psalm 15:2–4; see also Revelation 14:5).

Learning to control our tongues is no small matter, contends James: “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:26). The apostle Paul urges, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). Solomon states, “The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, But the perverse tongue will be cut out” (Proverbs 10:31, NKJV).

Our words have incredible power, and believers should use theirs to speak life (Proverbs 18:21; see also Proverbs 10:11), grace (Colossians 4:6), and truth (Ephesians 4:15, 25). How do we rid ourselves of a perverse mouth? By seeking the Lord’s forgiveness (Psalm 51:1–2) and asking Him to cleanse our hearts and renew our spirits (Psalm 51:10) so that we might “delight in truth in the inward being” and “wisdom in the secret heart” (Psalm 51:6, ESV). Let this psalm of David be our daily prayer: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14, NLT).

Wisdom a she in Proverbs

Why is wisdom referred to as a she in Proverbs?

In Proverbs 1:20–33 and Proverbs 8:1—9:12, wisdom is personified as a woman who has much to offer—including “enduring wealth and prosperity” and “life”—to anyone who would heed her words (Proverbs 8:18, 35).

We will look at Proverbs 8 in particular, since it seems to be a jumping-off point for some creative “proof-texting” by cults such as the Jehovah’s Witnesses to arrive at conclusions with no textual warrant. We will cover the three subjects that are often disregarded when considering these verses—figure of speech, genre, and grammatical gender—to focus on the question, why is Wisdom a she?

Let’s start with figures of speech. These, by definition, should not be taken literally. For example, “And the Lord said, ‘What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to me from the ground’” (Genesis 4:10). Did Abel’s blood actually cry out, audibly, from the ground? No. The Lord was using a figure of speech called personification, or prosopopoeia, to help Cain understand the inescapable nature of sin. We realize that Abel’s blood was inanimate, non-articulate, and in no way capable of speech—its “cry” is just a literary figure. We cannot formulate a doctrine that says blood actually speaks after a person dies. This may sound like common sense, but people can and do invent such teachings! We must be alert to figures of speech, because in figure, God’s exact words will not equal His exact meaning.

In Proverbs 9:2 wisdom is not literally a woman who prepares a banquet. Wisdom is an intangible quality, but Solomon describes it as if it were an actual person—personification, again. But why is Wisdom a “she” and not a “he”? As we answer that, let’s consider genre.

Proverbs 8 is poetry—one of the many genres found in the Bible. This is important to consider, for, if we do not know what we are reading, we will not know how we should read it. A reader will always make some sense of the words, but if genre is not considered, the reader will likely miss the author’s intent. For example, if we’re reading Treasure Island, it’s important to understand it as a novel, that is, a work of fiction. This understanding will prevent our seeking out the family history of Jim Hawkins as if he were a real person. When reading the Bible, if we do not understand an author’s intent, then we will not understand God’s intent—which, of course, is what matters when it comes to interpreting His Word.

Proverbs 8 is a specific type of poem called an encomium—a poem of praise. Other encomia in Scripture are found in 1 Corinthians 13 (in praise of love), Hebrews 11 (in praise of faith), and Proverbs 31:10–31 (in praise of the virtuous wife). We cannot interpret the Bible’s poetry in the same way we do its historical narratives, its prophecies, its apocalyptic passages, etc. For instance, we cannot treat “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4) in the same way as “When anyone has a swelling or a rash or a shiny spot on their skin that may be a defiling skin disease, they must be brought to Aaron the priest” (Leviticus 13:2). The first passage is effusive, the latter exacting. These are just two examples of types of writings that must be read with sensitivity to their genre, purpose, and context. So, when we read that Wisdom is a “she,” understand that Proverbs is heavily artistic; therefore, we are not reading a technical definition of wisdom.

Finally, let’s talk about gender in language. Except for some personal pronouns, English does not use grammatical gender (classifying words as masculine, feminine, or neuter). However, the Hebrew language (in which Proverbs was written) does use grammatical gender, much like Spanish, French, and many other languages do. Herein is our problem. “She,” as we understand it, is not necessarily “she” as it was intended in Hebrew.

Native English speakers are ambivalent concerning grammatical gender. We naturally think of the noun girl as feminine and the noun boy as masculine, so, when assigning pronouns to these words, we use she/her/hers for girl and he/him/his for boy. When we speak of a ship, which has no actual gender, we use neuter pronouns (it/its). However, these ships are often named after men (such as the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan). The name of the ship does not affect its gender. To compound matters, mariners usually refer to a ship in feminine terms: she is a fine ship, head her into port, etc. Gender is somewhat arbitrary in English usage, but this is not the case in many other languages.

In many languages (including Hebrew) most nouns have a strong gender component—but the gender assignment is grammatical and does not necessarily indicate the physical gender of the object. In Spanish, a guitar (la guitarra) is feminine, and a car (el coche) is masculine. This has nothing to do with literal gender. In fact, the Spanish word masculinidad, which means “masculinity,” is a feminine noun! Therefore, when translating from Hebrew into English, we must distinguish grammatical gender from our notions of sexual gender.

In English, the word wisdom is grammatically neuter, but not so in Hebrew. The Hebrew word is chokmoth, and it is grammatically feminine. In Hebrew, it would have been natural to speak of wisdom as a “she.”

As previously mentioned, Solomon used the literary tool of personification to extol the inanimate and abstract idea of wisdom as if it were a real person. By doing so, Solomon communicated a vivid illustration of the blessings of being wise. In personifying wisdom, it was necessary to use the appropriate pronouns. Since a person is not referred to as an “it,” Wisdom as an antecedent requires feminine personal pronouns. The grammatical construction is an artifact of the process of personification. In other words, since the word wisdom is feminine (in Hebrew grammar), Wisdom personified becomes a “she” to satisfy the demands of diction—not to add information to its object.

There may be a couple other reasons why Solomon portrayed Wisdom as a “she.” In the broader context, Solomon is drawing a careful contrast between wise and foolish choices. Immediately before and after presenting Wisdom as an elegant lady offering riches and satisfaction, Solomon presents a picture of Folly, pictured as a prostitute who promises pleasure but who delivers death (Proverbs 6:24—7:27; 9:13–18). So, the foolishness of immorality is contrasted with the wisdom of virtue. Two parallel illustrations are used, and both involve a virtual woman.

Also, Proverbs shows us Wisdom personified performing activities that are usually associated with a woman (such as preparing a meal, Proverbs 9:2, 5). This description transcends the technical grammar and further necessitates the feminine pronouns applied to Wisdom.

Solomon was not saying that women are intrinsically wiser than men—that would be reading too much into the use of grammar. And he was definitely not referring to some type of goddess named “Wisdom” or “Sophia.”

It is impossible to tell whether or not Solomon intended a feminine portrayal of wisdom from the outset. Perhaps the feminine underpinnings of the word wisdom influenced his choice, or perhaps he just found himself awash in the feminine grammar and ran with it. Either way, the use of she was not necessarily driven by any intrinsic femininity of wisdom. As such, men should not be insulted nor women puffed up at its reading.

More precious than rubies

What does it mean to be more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31:10)?

Two things in the Bible are considered more precious than rubies: the virtue of wisdom (Proverbs 3:15) and a woman of noble character: “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies” (Proverbs 31:10, NLT). A woman who is more prized than rubies is one with godly traits that are rare and valuable.

The book of Proverbs was written to teach young men how to obtain wisdom and build moral character. It is packed with practical guidelines and ethical principles for developing integrity and making wise and beneficial decisions in life. The question in Proverbs 31:10, “A wife of noble character who can find?” indicates that the reader ought to look long and hard to find such a wife for himself.

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones,” warns Proverbs 12:4. For the sake of his future happiness, success, and well-being, a young man ought to choose his wife wisely and carefully. Thus, Proverbs 31 goes into great detail describing the attributes of a wife who is more precious than rubies—the kind of woman the wise young man should seek.

The first qualities mentioned are trustworthiness and devotion: “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11–12, NLT). A virtuous wife is an asset to her husband and not a liability. She is supportive and encouraging, not like the quarrelsome and nagging wife who is like the “constant dripping of a leaky roof” (Proverbs 19:13; see also Proverbs 21:9, 19).

A worthy woman is diligent and hard-working: “She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar” (Proverbs 31:13–14, NLT). She carefully manages her household: “She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls” (Proverbs 31:15, NLT). Like the wise woman of Proverbs 14:1, she works hard to build up her home. She’s not like the foolish one who tears it down with her own hands.

A woman who is more precious than rubies is also intelligent and capable: “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard” (Proverbs 31:16). She is strong and energetic, with a healthy work ethic (Proverbs 31:17). She has good business sense, her “trading is profitable,” and she increases her family’s wealth (Proverbs 31:17–18, 24). The description that “her lamp does not go out at night” in verse 18 implies that she has the foresight to plan for the future. In the parable of the ten virgins, the five whose lamps did not go out had thought ahead to buy oil and were praised for their prudence and forethought (Matthew 25:1–13).

A woman who is more precious than rubies is generous and kind: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20). She spares no expense to protect her family (verses 21–22). “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land,” says verse 23. A virtuous woman brings honor and respect to her husband and family. Verses 25–26 applaud her dignity, wisdom, kindness, and strength of character. Her family members, who are at the center of her devotion, adore and express their fondness for her with blessings and praise (verses 27–28).

The chapter concludes with the writer recognizing the significance of such a woman: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (Proverbs 31:29). While she may be physically beautiful and charming, her crowning achievement is that she fears the Lord (verse 30). Such a woman is more precious than rubies because of her godly character—a rare and priceless jewel.

Ruth is an excellent example of a woman in the Bible who is more precious than rubies. Boaz described her as a virtuous woman (Ruth 3:11). She was devoted and faithful; she worked hard and took the initiative; and, like the Proverbs 31 woman, she was praised in the gates (Ruth 2:2; 4:11; cf. Proverbs 31:31).

Proverbs 31 woman

What should we learn from the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31?

Proverbs is a book based on metaphor. It is packed with word-pictures of universal truths. Throughout Proverbs, wisdom is anthropomorphized as a woman. As early as Proverbs 1:20, wisdom is compared to a woman who shouts in the streets, chastising fools and scoffers. Proverbs 31 provides a detailed metaphor of feminine wisdom in the context of a family and a community.

The most quoted section, verses 10–31, is a chiastic poem, that is, a poem that cycles through repeated thoughts in a particular order. The chapter speaks of the worth of a good wife to her husband, the manual labor that she does, her fulfillment of responsibilities to those who need her, her ability to provide for her family, and her wisdom in caring for herself so she can share her strength with others. These ideas are presented in a kind of circular pattern throughout the section.

The chapter begins with King Lemuel recounting advice his mother had given him. She exhorted him to not fall to weaknesses that would compromise his position as king, but to care for the poor. One of the weaknesses the king’s mother mentioned was the susceptibility of his strength—or “noble character” (31:10)—to be harmed by improper relationships with women. Although verses 10-31 do not directly follow this warning in the original, they do illustrate a fitting description of what kind of woman Lemuel should seek.

10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

A good, supportive, trusting wife is a blessing to a man. A woman who partners with her husband, who is reliable and looks out for his interests, gives a man a security that is greatly lacking in the world. She is worth more than a substantial paycheck. To bring in the metaphor, wisdom provides the same benefits—it is worth more than money, you can always trust it to make the right decision, and it provides blessings for those who have it.

13 She looks for wool and flax,
And works with her hands in delight…
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle…
27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

The wife of Proverbs 31 isn’t afraid of work. She gets up in the morning and gets things done. In the time of Solomon, this involved making fabric and sewing clothes, but verse 27 certainly applies directly to us today—taking care of our responsibilities is a characteristic of wisdom.

15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens…
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

Another characteristic of wisdom is the grace to help others. The Proverbs 31 wife ensures that those under her care receive what they need—food, clothing, protection. And she is able to serve others out of the excess of her work and the leaning of her heart. She has so internalized her role as a provider that it extends past her immediate responsibilities and into the community.

14 She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar…
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard…
18 She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night…
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.

Beyond that, she’s savvy. She’s educated about the world and the world of business. She knows how to use her skills to provide for her family, and she’s not afraid to go interact with that world, whether it be as a merchant or a buyer. She knows how to use her strengths to her best advantage, and she fully realizes how valuable her efforts are.

17 She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong…
22 She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

The Proverbs 31 woman not only knows her worth, she knows her responsibilities to herself. She would not be able to provide for others if she neglected her needs—both physical and spiritual. She makes sure her appearance reflects her respected position as an influence in her community. Her greatest strength is her wisdom—her accurate judgment about the world and her influence in it. And she is quick to share the wisdom she has gained to encourage others to reach their potential.

23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land…
28 Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29 “Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

She knows that, as a partner in her marriage, she has a tremendous influence on her husband’s ministry. She can integrate her life—both domestic and professional—with her ministry in such a way that her husband has the freedom to serve. In fact, her reputation is so established, that it bleeds off onto him.
The Proverbs 31 wife is a fierce provider and protector for those she cares about. She is wise to the ways of the world, but lives by the wisdom of God. As in the rest of the Proverbs, these specific examples provide a metaphor for the larger truth. How any individual woman exemplifies these characteristics will depend on her situation, gifts, and abilities. The key is in verse 30, just as it is in the beginning of Proverbs, in 1:7:
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

Virtuous woman a crown to her husband

How is a virtuous woman a crown to her husband (Proverbs 12:4)?

A good marriage is one of life’s greatest blessings, but a strained one can be a curse. A man who marries a supportive woman will be strengthened by her love rather than weakened. He might even say, “She makes me feel like a king!” Essentially, this was the sentiment King Solomon expresses in Proverbs 12:4: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: But she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones” (KJV 1900).

The Hebrew phrase Solomon used in Proverbs 12:4 for “virtuous woman” (KJV), “wife of noble character” (NIV), or “excellent wife” (ESV) is the same one Boaz used to describe Ruth, a “worthy woman” (ESV) of extraordinary loyalty and goodness (Ruth 3:11). It refers mainly to a woman’s strength of character and moral fortitude.

A wife’s character can help make or break her husband. A crown is an ornate, jeweled headdress worn by kings, queens, and other royalty. It represents dignity, honor, blessing, favor, status, and strength. A virtuous woman of solid, godly disposition will crown her husband with these attributes. Lemuel describes such a woman in Proverbs 31:10–31: “She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (verses 10–12, NLT). A virtuous woman is trustworthy, diligent, hardworking, generous, skillful, wise, capable, and kind.

The writer observes, “Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders” (Proverbs 31:23). This stately man’s wife “is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household. . . . Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her” (verses 23, 25–28). Her strength of character shines forth in the admiration of those who know her most intimately.

A sister verse to Proverbs 12:4 is Proverbs 14:1: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Like a jeweled crown that wins respect and distinction, a virtuous woman is a treasure to her husband. Not only does she build up her household, but she also raises her husband to a king’s stature. By contrast, a foolish woman drags down her whole family and weakens her husband.

Solomon tells the young man reading his book to “get wisdom” even “though it cost all you have.” Wisdom personified should be cherished, for “she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious crown” (Proverbs 4:7–9). A wise man who chooses a virtuous wife will discover that he has been given a valuable prize and a blessing from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). The Good News Translation highlights this idea in Proverbs 12:4: “A good wife is her husband’s pride and joy; but a wife who brings shame on her husband is like a cancer in his bones” (GNT).

“Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife,” reveals Solomon (Proverbs 19:14, NLT). Not just any woman is a gift from the Lord, cautions Ecclesiastes 7:26: “I discovered that a seductive woman is a trap more bitter than death. Her passion is a snare, and her soft hands are chains. Those who are pleasing to God will escape her, but sinners will be caught in her snare” (NLT).

Scripture reveals that choosing the wrong woman to marry can make a man’s life miserable, destroy his reputation, and even bring him down to death. But a virtuous woman—one who is wise, God-fearing, and of strong moral character—can raise him to his full, God-ordained stature. She will be like a crown to her husband, a blessing from God to enrich his life. Thus, a man must use wisdom and care to look past a woman’s external beauty to examine her “inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3–4; see also 1 Timothy 2:9).